How can I protect my child from bullying?

Bullying can be a distressing experience for a child

Bullying can be a distressing experience for a child

How can I protect my child from bullying?

Unfortunately, numerous children are victims of either school bullying or cyberbullying. They might even be bullied for taking education seriously and having supportive parents – which other pupils might consider ‘uncool’. Bullying should always be taken seriously. Here are some tips and advice for parents which should help to protect your child from bullying.

Why are children bullied?

Children are often pressurised to conform with their peers. Any differences – hair style or colour, body size, schoolbag, race, ability or attitude – can make them a potential target for bullying. This is the main reason why children are bullied.

This is not to say that your child has to change and conform to fit in – but schools and establishments need to have adequate procedures to prevent and deal with bullying, and your child needs to be resilient enough to seek help.

The NSPCC arranged 26,000 counselling sessions for young victims of bullying in 2015. The rise of technology and smartphones means that bullying even reaches children when they are ‘safe’ at home, leaving them afraid, depressed and isolated.

What is bullying?

Bullying includes physical abuse; violence; intimidation and threatening behaviour; taunting; verbal name-calling – and more insidiously, forcing someone to do something against their will; isolating them, humiliating them or making fun of them; or exploiting their insecurities.

How can I make my child aware of bullying?

Even if your child isn’t being bullied, it’s a good idea to discuss the issue. Explain that bullying is unacceptable and if they are ever made to feel bad by others, or if they see others suffering, they should not hesitate to tell someone.

What are the signs of bullying?

Your child may be reluctant to speak out, so recognise the signs early on. You might notice a change in their character, behaviour, mood or attitude. Perhaps they are quieter, more emotional, unhappy, depressed or lonely. Reluctance to go to school, do a favourite activity or even wear a certain piece of clothing, could all be signs they are being bullied.

The bullying may be physical, so you might notice unexplained bruises, marks or ripped clothing. They may also be hungry because lunch money has been stolen, or be missing some possessions through intimidation.

How can I get my child to confide in me?

Educate your children about bullying and encourage them to share their feelings. Provide strong support at home if they are targeted. However, you must appreciate that they may not want to tell you, or the school, for fear that things will get worse. Explain the processes calmly. Some children feel embarrassed that they are being bullied and start to believe they have done something wrong. Reassure them that it is not their fault. Ask your child to confide in you and praise them for telling you. Listen to everything they say and stay calm. Don’t overreact.

What can I do if my child won’t talk to me about their problems?

If you suspect that your child is being bullied but they won’t talk to you about their problems, they might speak with specialist services or people not directly involved. Ensure that they have access to support. Childline have a telephone helpline as well as online services. Nearly 45,000 children contacted them for support against bullying in 2013.

What can I do if my child is being bullied?

Schools have anti-bullying policies and take the issue very seriously. If your child is being bullied then they should deal with the bully at once. Contact the school to raise the issue, book an appointment and, if necessary, involve the police. Make sure that you have all of the facts such as names, dates, times and incidents and tell your child to log every confrontation.

After a bullying revelation, encourage your child to spend time with family or trusted friends and to do activities they enjoy, while school or authorities deal with the bullies. If all else fails, your child might prefer changing class or school.

What can I do if my child is a bully?

Of course, for every child bullied there is a bully. If you find out that your child is a bully, what can you do? First of all, show them Am I a Bully? Then talk to them about their behaviour and its effects on others. Educate them, and contact the school if necessary.

What is cyberbullying?

Bullying which takes place over the internet or via text message is cyberbullying. Easy access to social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr and WhatsApp) and mobile devices mean that cyberbullying could occur anywhere, anytime.

Being online or texting can give people a sense of ‘invincibility’ – they will say things they wouldn’t say face-to-face. 1 in 3 young people have felt threatened online. Instant messaging, forums, gaming sites, chat rooms and comments in anonymous websites like Ask, can all expose children to inappropriate people or material that can victimise them.

There is a minimum age (usually 13) for children to join social media sites, so ensure that your child respects this.

How can I tell if my child is a victim of cyberbullying?

It can be difficult spotting the signs of cyberbullying, but if you notice that your child is sad or upset after spending time online, or you notice any social changes – unusual or increased activity online or on their mobile phone, or if you see unknown numbers contacting them – these might be signs.

How can I protect my child from cyberbullying?

In this day and age it can be hard to monitor everything our children do online, so how can we protect them from cyberbullying? Well, here are a few tips that may help:

  • Set clear rules and boundaries and place parental controls on devices
  • Mobile devices mean that cyberbullying can occur anywhere, anytime

    Mobile devices mean that cyberbullying can occur anywhere, anytime

    Educate children on internet safety. Advise them to only accept people they know as friends, keep personal information and location private, and talk to you if they feel worried

  • You could suggest that they accept you or an older sibling as a social media friend, to watch over them (but expect them to say, ‘No way!’)
  • Encourage your child to talk to you if they feel threatened, upset or humiliated
  • Help them to log any evidence of cyberbullying (take screenshots of conversations and save text messages)
  • Block any bullies and report incidents to the website provider
  • Contact your child’s mobile phone network to change their telephone number
  • If the bullies are fellow pupils, contact the school
  • If serious, or persistent after you have taken other measures, contact the police

So, in answer to the question, ‘How can I protect my child from bullying?’ there are quite a few things you can do. Firstly, explain that bullying can happen to anyone. It is not their fault, but the bully’s. Even the bully has probably been bullied themselves, causing them to lack empathy s we should pity them. Bullying is distressing for everyone. Communication is vital. Educate children about bullying, so they are able to recognise if it happens to them or others. Reassure them that they can trust you and all will be well. Make sure they know that you will protect and support them, and can make the bullying stop. Last but not least, there is help and support for your child – and for you. Do use it.

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