9 .
The words in capitals below consist of a typically tightly-written newspaper headline. Which of the explanations do you believe offers the clearest and most likely guess as to what the full story is about?
FINE COUNCILLOR LOSES SEAT
Someone who has given long and noble service on a local council is sadly becoming old and forgetful, and now can't remember where he left his deckchair
A SEAT car has been stolen from outside the home of a local councillor
A councillor who was fined (i.e. had to pay a legal penalty for breaking council rules, e.g. parking his car where this was not allowed) has been in enough trouble over this that he was not elected back into office, and no longer sits in Council meetings
The ancient family home ('seat') of a councillor has been destroyed, perhaps by fire, and we should be sorry that this should happen to such a good public servant
'Slams' does not literally mean that he has been slamming doors; it is another short, impactful word (like 'hits', earlier) signifying that he has made a strong negative criticism ... not of the Gays, but of the new doors, which he may personally feel are too bland, or ugly, or in some other way out of keeping with a (presumably) traditional cathedral building.
(Perhaps he feels the doors are too flamboyant, or 'camp', in style; in which case, we might in turn sense that he does not have much sympathy with anything colourful or stylish, maybe including the clothing and behaviour of gay people.) Not a very likely story; but probably the least unlikely of the versions offered. We would stress that at time of publication, this is/was an entirely fictitious example!