A 'final round' of puns (or attempted puns), one of which is decidedly weaker than the rest; which one?
If your pet chews the wooden furniture, why not choose stylish metal chairs and tables next time?
'Uncle Brad asked for a particular song to be played at his cremation, called 'Smoke gets in your eyes'; but when we got there the priest refused to allow it, telling us all that it was 'holy inappropriate'.'
If your feet are suffering after too much walking and shopping, and you have cracked or blistered heels, try our miracle cream: rub it on night and morning, and damaged skin heals within three days ~ else we promise you your money back!
'They talk about State Education and other institutions like the National Health; but what with the government interfering the whole time, while never yet putting decent money into them, the only state our schools and hospitals are in these days is a disgrace to any civilised country.'